leave the butthole behind

i so dislike it when people throw the ol’ “forgive and forget’ crap at me. i don’t bite. because it is so not true. be honest with yourself. you can forgive – sometimes. but you can never, ever forget. what – are you going to give yourself a lobotomy? you can go on with ingenious excuses to forgive? but you cannot forget. you just cannot.
and no matter what people tell you – things are never the same. no matter what type of relationship it is, you might without consciously realizing it, hold these memories deep within your mind, heart and soul forever.

now these are important parts of your psyche. the exact parts you rely on when you pick friends, partners, a job, make important decisions – you trust your gut. when your gut lets you down – you feel like a fool. and that is what hurts you. not the other person. you hurt you because you let yourself down by playing the fool.

what can you do about it? i am going to give you a stupid list. this list is based on being married to someone who is not wealthy – so therefore you cannot just take off to Monte Carlo and play in some villa for six months after he has abandoned you. so come to grips with your situation.

this is the list of what you can do after butthole leaves you –

1 – you can “hermitize” (yes, this is a real word) and it involves being alone. or at least being around people that you do not know. and if you must go to work, keep your mouth shut and say nothing. being quiet is peaceful. at least in a work environment. answer no questions. no one is loyal.

2 – you can blog like me if you have a degree in english. if you do not, you still can put your feelings out there. use a fake name. really doesn’t matter anyway. everyone knows he’s a butthole.

3 – you are allowed to talk to your BFF (best friend forever) and your mother (who is always on your side although she might be a pain, she will rarely turn on you).

4 – you can read a book, or ten books. in my case 40 or 100.

5 – you can do absolutely nothing, serial watch missed tv programs and drink. if you drink that is. you can even smoke pot – OMG – medicinal of course. or serial drink water. 2 liters a day is highly recommended for weight loss.

6 – you can busy yourself with useful household projects to save the money you will need in the future when butthole starts screwing with your mind and money. he will. trust me.

7 – you can go through all of those (secret or so he thought) documents you have been saving for years and organize them – surprise !!!! horray for you – good girl ! you were onto him. after all – he told you every day how much you were ruining his life. sometimes even twice a day. it wasn’t too difficult to figure out. men can be stupid.

8 – you can plant your garden weather permitting.

9 – you can cook yourself a meal if you feel like eating. be careful. he will keep track of all the food you charge up. omg. even if you weigh in at 108 like me. healthy food is more expensive i guess. i can still afford to eat healthy. kill me the day that i cannot. i don’t eat much anyway.

10 – you can go on a dating site but that is so not recommended – in fact take my advise. it’s totally depressing. it might make you consider taking the psycho back. especially if you are hot – they ALL want you – just like he did. do not take the bait again. wait at least 3 weeks.

11 – you can just meditate, do your yoga or workout which is important – (i unfortunately have health issues so it’s really a need to feel good thing) and keep a journal. definitely see a psychiatrist and a psychologist (i do both). they keep records. so do the police. tee hee.

12 – you can get a dog. my butthole hated dogs, so the first thing that i did was get a dog (thank you mommy) – and my puppy has been my saving grace. keeps me exhausted and happy. i missed having a dog with the lazy butthole. i missed a lot of what i wanted with the butthole. in fact i missed me.

the rest of my advice will have to wait … was just in the mood to impart my wisdom immediately.

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